I'm the Avoidant that attracts avoidants therefore I keep the status quo of being "safely alone". But to add a personal trait on your super well written essay_ bravo_I like to have a crush on famous good looking men, that on my fantasies they are not evn perfect! so yeah, like you said very honestly (from my own essays here in Medium, readers are not here to read something out of the box and crush their dreams), the best case scenario is to find a secure person...or stop making a hell to live alone and making the best out of it!