A.Thena
4 min readApr 22, 2019

TINDER AT COPENHAGEN

I’ve been once in Copenhagen and I wanted to go back to try to have sex with these good looking men and willing to see this egalitarian society, known to be one of the happiest of the world. Is sex among of the thing that make Danes happy? Are Dane men willing to have a 50–50 giving-receiving-pleasure-sex with his partner?

‘I cum therefore you have to cum as well.’

First time I ever had an encounter through Tinder, which I believe that holds only the worst of men, those who wants to liberate their perversity without any shame.

This Dane, college degree,white-blue eyes man,speaks many languages he said but he’s Italian wasn’t fluently like he bragged about,did Sciences Po in Paris, only talked about sex within the first minutes we had met.

Well, he won’t be a serious thing, but a good fuck!

I’ve payed for our latte and than later for our “pic-nic”, without he not even asking’are you okay with paying for it?” and he invited me over to “sleep”.

I wanted see this “experience” till the end. Thinking, he’s going to be that one night stand, we shakes hand and I’ll wish him good luck.

Well, it’s turned out that I wish him a good luck finding some medical help for his lack to maintain an erection when I was in top of him!

But what who had strike me most was his house. It was one bedroom apartment, that was a big mess! And with pictures of women everywhere! I mean, everywhere! it’s seems his apartment was a erotic-photo-shop! Photos of breasts, bottocks, beautiful women in a very sexy, sometimes explicits poses. His ‘artistic’ frames, were sexy-female drawings. No single man picture was there.

At some point I joked about his wife having the same amount of pictures but of men, they will need a biggers partment. He scuffed on it.

It remind one of my ex-s that was a “big-shot-Colombia-economist’ that was addict to porno, that didn’t get an erection at our first night. Once, because Istill going out with him after the first night,I caught him watching porno at 7 am in the bathtub when the night before we have had sex! He was a keeper!

So, the Dane man, have asked me if my boobs were real, said that I have a nice ass, but having sex, he didn’t look at me and his face was ‘kissing” the pillow!

Five minutes after he had his “petite mort”. I didn’t have anything. He didn’t go down on me. I didn’t ask because his apartment didn’t have a shower! so I didn’t have a shhower before having sex, which it’s not a problem for a man to ask for blowjob but I’m not a man.

Next day, I said about the mess about his place, long story short, I helped out to change and to move furniture around, pass the vaccum, and clean up the toilet!

The guy used to tell ‘stay here don’t move’ each time he had left the bedroom! I had the feeling he was afraid that I could steal something…but what??

Aked me about having kids. That he liked my body…not the mind! He was always saying about his looks. That he used to/is a model. That his blue eyes are very rare…that when he was in France,the French women were throwing themselves at him…got the picture? I’ve encountered men, like him before, but no that bad.

His bed, was a couple bed-frame but with one single-person mattress…and he had a huge couch in the livingroom and another pull up couch, when I suggest to sleep in on the second night, he said no.

Second round, I took some action and wanted to be on the top, he lost his erection…wait a little bit…got it half back…I thought it’s very embarrising, maybe from behind? no, he’s start to losing it again and came back in a very impatient manner to missionary position and he finished his sad “perfomance” with his face into the pillow!He lost his breath like if he had run a marathon!

I think we’re better off masturbating by ourselves, it won’t get him that tired and for me ,it gets me an actually orgasm!

I just want to believe that he is the worst Dane I had the misfortunate to have sex with, because how come they are so happy?

Seriously, a man that objectifies women body, beautiful women, and he doen’t even keep up with his erection, it’s sad, I told him through a message, and I really hope that he goes seek for a psicological/medical help.

And when meet a man that starts to showing off how much education he has, or he is a Phd in something, it’s really put me off! Education is lke having money, it doesn’t say anything about who you really are. Are you thoughtful? Are you loyal? are you generous? with your time? during sex? are you a good listener?

I don’t believe that one-night-stand have to be a bad sex for women. It is because of the “hasty and selfish’ of men. And therefore men have they lashback when women are not willing to have one-night-stands, just been used. Sothese women will drag on and on to go to have sex with a man, just to not have an orgasm after all their time wasted anyway.

And I’ve learned that sterotypes ‘positives’ or ‘negatives’ are only sterotypes.

And masturbation for me, is freedom. I won’t have to put up with a pig because of its sausage. And a small, malfunctioning one.

A.Thena

Feminist, non-conformist, a foreigner living in a so called "developed" country